So on Friday night we were having a dinner party and the conversation turned, naturally enough, to vajazzling. Vajazzling, in case you haven't kept up with pubic fashions, sees ladies glueing coloured diamantes to their nethers. And there I thought that nail art was tacky.
Now, I'm the first to admit that I am an anachronism. I've never photographed my food (perhaps I am self effacing in my belief that no one is interested in the fact that I had a sandwich with cheese and tomato for lunch, but there you go). I have never indicated my disbelief by saying "I know, right?" And I have never spent hours of my time decorating my vagina. Since I can bearly get it together to apply mascara to my eyes, I think it's safe to assume that this is never going to happen.
But I do wonder about the girls who are prepared to sacrifice half an hours' sleep so that their vaginas can be sparkly. What must this be like for the person on the receiving end (I am assuming that, unlike a pedicure or facial, one does not vajazzle for one's own satisfaction). Imagine it - you go out for a drink; the drink turns into dinner; next thing there's kissing and clothes coming off and - ka-ching - like a shiny tooth in a mouthwash ad, there's a glint coming off the lady's privates - even though the lights are off. It's disco fanny!
Quite honestly, if I were a man, I would be taken aback by someone lavishing that much care and attention on their vagina. I just want to point out that girls who have French manicures are frequently thought of as high maintenance...
Also, the choice of motif raises some questions. Of course you get your run of the mill vajazzles - butterflies (because an insect hovering above a vagina is always a turn on) and so forth. But one that stands out for me is the vajazzle cross. I believe that the girl who adorns her vajayjay with such a pattern is sending deeply conflicting messages. Perhaps it is a good choice for the convent girl exploring her nasty side.
Certainly, if I had decided to elevate my bits from lame to aflame, this is one that I just couldn't go for. But the last time I looked they didn't make Stars of David.
Now, I'm the first to admit that I am an anachronism. I've never photographed my food (perhaps I am self effacing in my belief that no one is interested in the fact that I had a sandwich with cheese and tomato for lunch, but there you go). I have never indicated my disbelief by saying "I know, right?" And I have never spent hours of my time decorating my vagina. Since I can bearly get it together to apply mascara to my eyes, I think it's safe to assume that this is never going to happen.
But I do wonder about the girls who are prepared to sacrifice half an hours' sleep so that their vaginas can be sparkly. What must this be like for the person on the receiving end (I am assuming that, unlike a pedicure or facial, one does not vajazzle for one's own satisfaction). Imagine it - you go out for a drink; the drink turns into dinner; next thing there's kissing and clothes coming off and - ka-ching - like a shiny tooth in a mouthwash ad, there's a glint coming off the lady's privates - even though the lights are off. It's disco fanny!
Quite honestly, if I were a man, I would be taken aback by someone lavishing that much care and attention on their vagina. I just want to point out that girls who have French manicures are frequently thought of as high maintenance...
Also, the choice of motif raises some questions. Of course you get your run of the mill vajazzles - butterflies (because an insect hovering above a vagina is always a turn on) and so forth. But one that stands out for me is the vajazzle cross. I believe that the girl who adorns her vajayjay with such a pattern is sending deeply conflicting messages. Perhaps it is a good choice for the convent girl exploring her nasty side.
Certainly, if I had decided to elevate my bits from lame to aflame, this is one that I just couldn't go for. But the last time I looked they didn't make Stars of David.
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