1) I don't know if I should have cut a fringe. It completely looks as if a cat is sitting on my head. it catches me by surprise every time I see it in the mirror; it's as if I expect the small pouf resting on my forehead to get up and stretch. At the same time, I look like a surprised crowned guinea fowl. Or a Hitler propaganda poster as it really gives me the look of the shtetl dweller. Either way, I think we can conclude this is not a glamorous look.
2) I am confused as to why one of my eyebrows grows faster than the other. I consider the loss of my tweezers as a great misfortune, as I now have eyebrows growing down to my upper lip (oh wait, that's something else entirely. Different but equally unfortunate). My face therefore looks misshapen and vaguely Picasso like. Then again, this may be where that fringe comes into its own, creating a hiding place for the wayward eyebrow.
3) I am really not sure about Jared Leto. I have to agree with a colleague who feels that he is incredibly handsome, but at the same time looks as though he might be into really weird, dirty things. A night with him would probably involve a third person, or possibly a stuffed panda, is the way she put it. I on the other hand, although admittedly not in a position to cast aspersions on anyone else's hair, am baffled as to why he wore his shower hairstyle to the Golden Globes. When I had long hair I made sure no one ever saw me looking like that.
4) It is really upsetting when your mother ends a conversation thus: "...and I think my medication might be making me go blind. Have the most wonderful day, I love you, chat to you tomorrow."
5) I appear to have given birth to the rudest person in the world. Yesterday, Leya was surrounded by a semi-circle of adoring fans; women in their thirties whose biological clocks had become audible as soon as they caught sight of her. They clustered around her telling her how pretty she is, and asking where she got her skirt from, and asking why she had taken her pigtails out. And my daughter, all 16 months of her, looked back at them, smiled and said quite clearly: "Go away." This makes me feel really bad about my parenting skills.
2) I am confused as to why one of my eyebrows grows faster than the other. I consider the loss of my tweezers as a great misfortune, as I now have eyebrows growing down to my upper lip (oh wait, that's something else entirely. Different but equally unfortunate). My face therefore looks misshapen and vaguely Picasso like. Then again, this may be where that fringe comes into its own, creating a hiding place for the wayward eyebrow.
3) I am really not sure about Jared Leto. I have to agree with a colleague who feels that he is incredibly handsome, but at the same time looks as though he might be into really weird, dirty things. A night with him would probably involve a third person, or possibly a stuffed panda, is the way she put it. I on the other hand, although admittedly not in a position to cast aspersions on anyone else's hair, am baffled as to why he wore his shower hairstyle to the Golden Globes. When I had long hair I made sure no one ever saw me looking like that.
4) It is really upsetting when your mother ends a conversation thus: "...and I think my medication might be making me go blind. Have the most wonderful day, I love you, chat to you tomorrow."
5) I appear to have given birth to the rudest person in the world. Yesterday, Leya was surrounded by a semi-circle of adoring fans; women in their thirties whose biological clocks had become audible as soon as they caught sight of her. They clustered around her telling her how pretty she is, and asking where she got her skirt from, and asking why she had taken her pigtails out. And my daughter, all 16 months of her, looked back at them, smiled and said quite clearly: "Go away." This makes me feel really bad about my parenting skills.
Leya could hear their clocks ticking too.
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